


Because Fandom Says So: Raph and Leo Always Fight

by fireworksinthenight



Series: Because Fandom Says So [2]
Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2012), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: FandomSays, Gen, Humor, PotentiallyOOC, Tropes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-02
Updated: 2019-03-02
Packaged: 2019-11-08 00:49:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17971295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fireworksinthenight/pseuds/fireworksinthenight
Summary: Fandom says many things. Some are plausible, some are surprising, and a few are absurd. But all are fun to play with. Warning: implies that one or more characters could be OOC, depending on your headcanons.Prompt n°3: Raph and Leo Always Fight





	Because Fandom Says So: Raph and Leo Always Fight

**Author's Note:**

> _*dusts the one-shot collection* Heeeey! Long time no see!_   
>  _Thanks to everybody who suggested ideas! I’m keeping a list. (No guarantee I’ll write them, of course - inspiration is a temperamental being.)_   
>  _Oh, and remember: not serious._   
>  __  
>  **Prompt n°3: Fandom Says… Raph and Leo Always Fight (Like Always Always Always)**   
>    
>  _Emphasis on “Always”._   
>  _2012 turtles._

"You're the worst leader in the history of worst leaders!" Raph shouted.

"If you weren't so bad at taking orders, this would have gone without a glitch!" Leo shouted back.

Both brothers were forehead against forehead, each trying to push the other back. At a safe distance, Donnie and Mikey were watching them in exasperation. They had given up on trying to interfere. Leo and Raph had always liked to tease and annoy each other, but until recently it had been playful.

Now they were at each other's throat almost all the time.

Splinter, annoyed by the ruckus that prevented him from meditating with dignity, as a ninja master like him was supposed to, stealthily entered the living room to watch the scene.

Well, considering how Leo and Raph's focus was solely on each other, stealth might have been unnecessary.

"I'm bad at taking orders because you're bad at giving them!"

"You're not even trying!"

Splinter massaged his aching temples with two long fingers before raising his fatherly voice.

"Enough!"

Leo and Raph froze like mooses in the headlights and risked a cautious glance at their father, both wearing the same sheepish expression.

"Donatello, Michelangelo, what happened?" Splinter asked his two other sons - way more gently.

Donnie shrugged.

"I don't know. It wasn't even that bad. I mean, we did put the Purple Dragons on the run."

"Yeah, they're being unreasonable," Mikey complained, crossing his arms.

Splinter stroked his beard.

"Hmm. Raphael, Leonardo, come with me," he demanded.

Both turtles obediently followed their father into the dojo.

"You're toast," Mikey whispered as they walked past him, attracting himself a twin glare.

It went without saying that Donnie and Mikey settled themselves right behind the dojo's door, ready to watch their father wipe the floor with their brothers - but to their surprise, Splinter's face went from exasperation to annoyance, then became expressionless as the conversation with Leo and Raph went on. He made no move to throw his sons across the room or do anything else that would have been fun to witness.

Besides, their voices were too low and Donnie and Mikey couldn't hear what was being said.

"How disappointing," Mikey muttered, expressing aloud what they were both thinking.

When Leo and Raph left the dojo, followed by Splinter, they didn't say a word to the others and went straight to their rooms.

"They're going to be fine," Splinter said reassuringly to his two remaining sons. "We talked this out."

Donnie and Mikey shared a skeptical look.

* * *

From Donnie and Mikey's point of view, Splinter had been mistaken. There was no improvement.

If anything, it was becoming worse. After all, you would believe that the middle of a battle against some of your fiercest enemies wasn't the right place to fight with your own brother, right?

Right.

"Do you think you're better than me?" Raph shouted.

"I'm more diligent than you, that's for sure! You hothead!" Leo exclaimed.

"Uh, guys? Could we focus on retrieving this dangerous flamethrower from Fishface, please?" Donnie asked, very politely, as Leo and Raph glared at each other.

"Yes," Xever answered, annoyed. "I feel sidelined."

"I'll show you just how good I am!" Raph exclaimed, throwing one of his sai past Leo's head. It embedded itself next to Bradford, who didn't even protest, too engrossed in the show.

"Alright, don't mind us." Xever rolled his eyes. "We're only your enemies after all. Your dangerously weaponized enemies."

"I'm ready for you!" Leo pushed his brother back. Both collided with Xever, who let go of his weapon with an indignant yelp.

"Sorry about that." Mikey sighed. "Maybe next time they'll be more up to it."

Leo and Raph were now rolling away in a brutal tangle of limbs. With a last apologetic shrug, Donnie went after them, closely followed by Mikey.

It was only after they had disappeared behind the alleyway corner that Xever noticed the absence of his precious flamethrower.

* * *

"Dudes, I'm exhausted." Mikey yawned exaggeratedly to show his disapproval. "I'm going to take a nap."

"Suit yourself, Mikey," Leo answered from the driver's seat. His tone was insanely joyful for somebody who had just been in a major fight with one of his brothers. "Excellent job, guys! We were successful tonight."

Donnie shook his head in disbelief. "Really? I wouldn't have put it that way. To me, it was more like a disgraceful display. I'm ashamed to have even witnessed it. What are you going to tell Splinter?"

Raph smirked.

"Oh, I don't know," he answered, picking up something at his feet. "Maybe that we retrieved this flamethrower with no casualties, and our enemies none the wiser?"

Donnie's eyes widened. "What? When did you take that?" He immediately grasped the flamethrower and began to inspect it. Raph cautiously moved out of the line of fire.

"I can't believe you managed to pick that up," Donnie muttered. "It's almost as if it was planned all along."

Raph rolled his eyes.

"Of course it was planned," he whispered, too low for Donnie to hear. "And of course they fell for it - why wouldn't they? _You_ fall for it all the time."

Unfortunately for him, Mikey wasn't as out of it as he had pretended, and he was closer to Raph. His eyes snapped open.

"Wait a minute. Are you saying that you planned this?"

Leo glanced at him.

"Maybe?" He suggested, hiding a smile.

Donnie immediately understood, and he almost let go of the flamethrower.

"What? This was all an elaborated scheme?"

"Yes," Raph answered with great satisfaction. "My favorite kind of scheme."

"But… but…" Donnie shook his head wildly. Mikey cautiously took the flamethrower away from him, just in case. "It sounded so real!"

"Well, it wasn't improvised," Raph conceded. "We haven't reached that stage yet."

Donnie looked at him with his most deadpan expression.

"Are you implying that your conversation… It was _scripted_? You _rehearsed_ your insults?"

Raph lifted a know-it-all finger, his expression deadly serious. Except for his mischievous eyes, of course.

"Training is key, Donnie," he said, in an excellent imitation of Splinter. Or Leo.

"You're kidding me," Donnie uttered.

"Remember what Splinter said two weeks ago?" Leo told him, trying to keep the smugness he felt from showing in his tone.

"When he told us to turn our strengths into weaknesses?" Mikey offered.

"Our weaknesses into strengths," Leo corrected him. "But yes, that's the idea."

Donnie made a disgusted little noise. Raph smirked and crossed his arms behind his head. He hadn't meant to reveal this to Donnie and Mikey so soon, but it was totally worth it.

* * *

Leo leaned against the sewer wall, one leg hanging from each side of the sewer pipe.

"Bring it in, Raph. What else have you got?"

Raph smiled and produced a battered leather notebook.

"I have a lot of ideas. Spike helped too."

"Spike is a pet turtle. Only a moron would believe that he…"

"Leo, it's my turn," Raph frowned, mildly annoyed.

"You're right. My apologies." Leo smiled sheepishly. "I'm listening."

Raph cleared his throat.

"Okay. So, first one: Leo, you're an insufferable son of a…"

Leo cut him short.

"Nuh-uh. We said not Splinter, remember?"

Raph blushed, realizing what the insult meant.

"Oh! Oh, no. Uh, sorry." He sighed. "It's a pity, though. It has a nice ring to it."

Leo pretended to be lost in thought.

"Well, I guess you could always say that I'm an insufferable brother of a…"

Raph nudged him with enough strength to make him almost lose his balance. Leo laughed and grasped his brother's arms before sliding on the side to hang upside-down, his legs crossed around the pipe. His momentum brought Raph with him. The red-masked turtle yelped and clasped Leo's wrists, looking up to playfully glare at his brother.

"Oh, you don't want to play nice?"

Swinging his legs, he reestablished his balance on the pipe and began pulling on his brother's feet in the hope of making him fall in the sewer water pool meters below.

On the side of said sewer water pool, Mikey was watching them morosely.

"I wonder what they're telling each other."

Donnie shrugged and kept scavenging.

"They're _training_ , I guess," he deadpanned.

He had gotten used to the idea that Leo and Raph had no intention of stopping their exchanges of blows and insults. Somehow, they had even managed to convince Splinter that it was a useful addition to their ninja arsenal.

Mikey pouted. Donnie lifted an eye ridge at him.

"What's the matter, Mikey? You want to join them?" He chuckled. "You know, they're going to fall every second in this disgusting sewer water. Do you want me to describe what's inside? You know it gives you nightmares."

"Nooo, thank you, Donnie," Mikey interrupted him. "It's just…"

"It's just what?" Donnie prodded.

Mikey pointed a vengeful finger at the two turtles fighting on their pipe, his expression gloomy.

"I'm supposed to be the immature one, not them!"


End file.
